Friday, September 28, 2007

I'd like to see this in a different size..

I have lost my ability to shop for clothes.

I don't really like clothes shopping that much to begin with, but now, I can't even do it without a trusted friend or a how-to manual. Clothes used to be easily identifiable. This is a shirt. These are a pair of shorts. This is a skirt. Also, each piece of clothing had a purpose: a sweater is worn over something and keeps you warm. A shirt is typically a base layer, a dress is a complete outfit on its own and is... well... dressier than other articles of clothing.

Not any more.

Now, I pick something up and it looks like a sweater, except when I put it on, it ends about halfway down my back. The only things being kept warm by this are my boobs, rendering it not a very useful sweater. I don't even understand how to wear it... if over a thin layer, it's probably not cold enough to necessitate a sweater... and if over a thick layer, you're looking for warmth, which this does not provide.

I'm the worst girl ever.

Shirts of a normal length are a thing of the past as well. Now I pick up a garment and do not know if it is a dress or a shirt. Those two items should, in my humble opinion, never be close enough in length to cause confusion. It's too long to be a shirt, but it's too short to be a dress. Shopping for clothing is already a truly traumatic experience for me, and now you throw this at me. Advanced Placement garments. I need the remedial class.

Through my research and a few "yahoo answers" posts later, I've come to understand that the shirt/dress phenomenon is where leggings come into play. Leggings. Come on people!! About 4.6% of the female population of the world looks good in leggings! I'm not looking to star in Flashdance here.

I think I've been spoiled by running clothes. They're so user friendly!! You tell me the temperature, I'll tell you what I'm wearing. Each item fulfills a purpose, there is nothing extraneous, there are specific clothes for every season, fashion has little to no place, it's perfect. If this unidentifiable clothing trend keeps up, I'm going to start wearing technical clothing everywhere.

Have fun in your stupid, short sweaters, world.

1 comment:

haddy said...

Oh no. If you start wearing pants with goo pockets to work, I'm going to have to intervene.