I've been hiding. I didn't really even realize it until recently, but I've been doing it for weeks. Lots of reasons, I suppose, but I was feeling particularly anxious, crazy, drained, and a little beat down... not necessarily in that order.
I think at first it was a good thing, I needed the chance to... how to say this with the least amount of hippy overtones... reconnect? Find some inner strength? Remember myself? Yeah, there's no good way to say it, it was kind of a hippy thing. Sometimes I do that. Anyway, it got out of hand. I stopped doing everything: blogging, gChatting, emailing, calling, running, enjoying things, and eventually, even leaving my apartment. Whoa. Luckily, I think I'm on my way back to the land of the living.
I threw an impromptu party Friday night, and who knew, it was exactly what I needed. I invited everyone I know over (everyone in the same state, that is) and had a crazy Rock Band party. It has been so long since I have felt a part of something, felt loved. It was great. And even if we never got through "Green Grass and High Tides", and even if my snack food offerings sucked (I told you it was impromptu), a good time, much beer and many almonds were had by all.
Today, I ran. Outside. Five miles. It was beautiful. I think I needed to prove to myself that I can make my own heart beat faster. =) I feel so so strong when I run, even when I'm slow and out of breath.
So, I'm back. I'm taking Carson to his first Pens game tomorrow and will be playing the role of Godmother at his baptism next week... Updates to follow.... slightly less esoteric ones, I promise.